Divorce is typically not an easy process. You could ask anyone who has been through a divorce, and most of them will confirm this. There are high-running tensions, and many poorly made decisions that one makes in the heat of the moment. There’s a mountain of practical, emotional, and financial details that you have to sort through the divorce process.
So it is certainly not alarming to find that most couples make mistakes during their journey. In light of this, there are several things you shouldn’t do to avoid having regrets later on. Here we take a look at a couple of mistakes to avoid when filing for divorce.
Getting pregnant when you are about to get a divorce is one of the worst decisions to make. Even if you have always wanted to be a mother or if you intend to raise the child alone. Trust us when we tell you, it is a bad idea!
Aside from complicating the entire scenario, being pregnant could work against you in the court of law and hinder your right to divorce. It has happened before. In Washington in 2004, a judge refused a woman the right to divorce her abusive husband because she was pregnant. Interestingly, the baby wasn’t her husband’s. However, according to state law, her husband will be the father until 300 days after the divorce. So don’t fall pregnant, either by your husband or your lover.
If you forget to change your will, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Well, you are setting your survivors up for trouble, that is. Your divorce doesn’t automatically revoke your will. Your soon-to-be-ex or your ex-spouse will wind up inheriting everything in your will if you do not update your will when you decide to divorce. A Will can be re-done at any time. If you do die before you get a divorce, and if you haven’t left your spouse anything, they could sue your estate to recover finances.
Collaborative Divorce or Mediation
Most people going through divorce believe that attorneys, therapists, and divorce coaches are expensive in terms of time and money. However, it’s an integral part of collaborative divorce. So they forgo the help of the professionals.
However, the truth is that jurisdictions with collaborative divorce are statistically more cooperative and adversarial than the traditional counterpart.
Mediation is an alternative to collaborative divorce teams, and a mediator is a single third-party professional who comes in to assist you and your spouse in reaching divorce agreements. Mediation is an ongoing process and not a one-time intervention. Lawyers are typically not allowed in mediation sessions, but you can usually consult with your lawyer during the process to make sure you are on the right track.
See a Therapist
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that seeing a therapist is going to be just another cost that you will have to pay in the already –expensive divorce process. This may be true, but it is a worthwhile expense. A therapist isn’t just someone you pay to talk to. Instead, they can point out things that you may not have noticed. They can also help you support your kids (if you have any) during the divorce process. They can teach you how to remain calm in court and how to relax.
Divorce is going to take you through a wide range of emotions, whether you expect it to or not. A therapist is your key to self-sufficiency, which is highly important when divorcing a spouse. Sometimes, your friends and family are a great support. However, they don’t have all it takes to help you keep things together, despite their best efforts.
There are many things you should take care of through the divorce process. It is of great importance to be cooperative with your spouse and to work together in managing the thornier separation issues with the most level head possible.
If both of you are on the same page and have the intention of cooperating as a team, it will pay off in the future. You will each make wiser decisions about the divorce. And thus, free yourself from the divorce process with far less damage, emotionally as well as financially.