Can divorce ever be peaceful and amicable? In most cases, divorce and court trials are the opposite of what you can call just that. But divorce need not always be petty and painful like a slinging match.
Thanks to the adoption of the no-fault divorce law, divorce has skyrocketed and it is regarded as a viable option to get out of a bad marriage and find out that they have more choices. An amicable divorce is something where you are not fighting tooth and nail over petty issues and you can agree to leave each other peacefully. Here are some tips to get your divorce right.
Honesty and openness may be one of the best options to make a successful negotiation. If one of the parties starts hiding key information – assets, income, and more – it may not work in the long run. Right from the start, learn to be truthful about different aspects of your divorce. If your spouse has a history of deceiving, then hire a negotiator who will be able to deal with it more smartly. Also, you have to accept that very often your partner may not see eye to eye with you on certain matters, so it is always better to accept that instead of fighting it.
Find out the key points that are creating dissension between you and discuss them with your partner carefully so that you come up with a joint decision. That forms the crux of a good negotiation.
A Desirable Result for Both
While when you got married both of you may have created a common goal, but with time, those goals may have gotten lost. Maybe that’s the reason you are heading for splitsville. But you need to figure out what do you want from a divorce. Talk to your spouse about the same and set similar goals for your divorce as well.
After a divorce, many couples remain parents and they also co-parent amicably. You must realize things are better and easier when you don’t fight over every single thing that comes your way. Find out what is important for you and ignore all the other excess trimmings. Keep communication between each other as friendly as possible.
Respect Each Other
An uncontested divorce stems from mutual respect and politeness. Both you and your spouse are adults and you must certainly behave that way. If you come to think of it, it is not that difficult either. Start with maintaining a positive frame of mind and keep as focused as possible. Don’t let your emotions overrule your better judgment. Whenever you are seething in anger, take a deep breath and reflect over everything. Don’t commit something in a hurry.
Your rash actions may have untoward repercussions soon. Pause, reflect, and think – do you really want that? Keep your behavior as civilized as possible and always remember not to behave badly or badmouth your partner. Don’t wash your dirty linen before the public, this way you will only besmirch your relationship. It won’t give way to an amicable settlement in any way. If you see a future with your ex – a father to your children, or a friend – then you need to think before you act.
Your Children Come First
Divorce may affect everyone in your family, and especially your children. They are particularly sensitive to the altercation between their parents. Remember yourself in childhood and how you felt when you were caught between two squabbling parents, recall the helplessness you felt at that time.
A divorce may impact a child mentally in more ways than one. Their comfort zone gets yanked away from them, their security blanket gets replaced by feelings of insecurity, taunts, and jibes from peers, and they are not old enough to handle all of that. So, ensure both of you shower as much love as possible on them and assure them that no matter what, both of you would be there for them.
Divorce is hard, so it is important not to make it harder than it already is. Communication is the key to resolve petty issues brewing between the two of you. You will no longer be life partners but friends, well that you can be.